good girl gone bad

14th Feb. 2011
Good girl gone bad…
I was a good girl once, who fell in love with a good guy that belonged to someone else. It was a fairytale love that I am sure doesn’t have a fairy tale ending (we are still talkin). We meet at work and that’s where the friendship started . Later , it blossomed into something else and after much discussion and forethought we started appending time together. We don’t meet much cos he is a busy man and am a student; but we text each other the whole day and that was more than enough for us…
Both of us being very analytical as well as rational often discussed the pros and cons of our situation. He had way more to lose than I, he had his whole life to risk and I just my heart…
Earlier that year I remember discussing with my two best friends about there being no men in our lives and how we might ebd up as old frustrated hags with no one to talk to except our cats…the very thought scared me. The three of us I might add are not so bad looking…we were smart, funny, intelligent good looking and everything else you put up on a matrimonial site but where were all the guys, I wondered!!! How do you know that ‘this is it’ when you meet a guy who’s perfect for you. Is there the ‘dil mein baji guitar’ situation or some signs and symbols telling you this is the one….i always thought imprinting happens only to vampires and werewolves but it happened to me too (I would like to think so).
He would make me smile from across town and make me giggle like a child. He always knew what I wanted before I did. He was my Mr.Darcy with heathcliff and Mr. Rochester thrown in together. He was a married man with a daughter and I a 20 year old student. He was out of love with his wife a long time before we met but they were still together for their daughters sake who was only 11 years old. We were so in love, but knew the pretenses of our relationship were wrong. It has a limited shelf-life I know…I always knew.
Initially I was scared of what I felt forhim..were they just sexual or something more. I couldn’t let myself be that vulnerable but later thought…what the hell!!!we were both fucked…might as well enjoy it till it lasts.
I know there will be a day when all this comes to an end but as long as I could love him I needed nothing else. The fact of the matter is,that marriage may or may not have been broken before, all we wanted to do was find love and be happy if only for a while…but this kind of love is irreplaceable and I would do it all over again!!!